Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she peed on how many people?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
