i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
