I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
should my penis look like a turkey
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
