you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
