i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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