remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I cut my penus on the lid.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
