ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
