Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
