we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
