New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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