Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
