New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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