plz talk dirty to me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
