My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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