Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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