Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
