i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
