just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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