Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize