i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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