the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
