I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
