and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize