There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
