i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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