i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
