So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize