eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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