Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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