i think my mom watched the whole time
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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