THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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