youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
