it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
