another moral hangover. fuck.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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