I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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