id be glad to
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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