New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
