So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
