Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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