My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
