just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize