she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
