if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
