Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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