i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
