How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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