a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
