JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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