Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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