i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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