My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
