ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
