i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
